Cry cry baby...

I started my teary moments last night when I watch the "Attractions" audition for Britain Got Talent 2013 on You Tube.  It was the most beautiful dance performance I have ever since.  I had never cried watching any dance before but this dance had actually dug deep into my emotion and made me want to be a politician..!!  I want to be a real politician who fight for the people, who will stop wars and who will ban skinny models making people like me feel super duper fat. But of course, with my loud mouth and blunt remarks, I would not last more than a day... (siiigghhh... my celebrity-wanna-be dream is crushed...)

This morning while waiting for my husband getting ready to go to office, I finished my reading on Habibie & Ainun, a book written by Indonesia's 3rd President about Love.  I never knew he could write, more so in such a poetic Bahasa Indonesia language.   I remember how he struggled speaking in Bahasa Indonesia without uttering some English words on TV.   I used to know him only as the most techie guy in Indonesian government.

Reading the book about his life and love story, I couldn't help shedding tears of happiness, knowing that behind such a tough techie guy, who made the first Indonesian aeroplane, lies a man who shares the same visions and aspirations with me. All he wanted to have was just a simple peaceful life in a countryside surrounded by his family.  He wanted to spend his retirement travelling the world with his late wife, Ibu Ainun.  But his dream was forced to go to different directions when he was asked to come back from Germany to serve for the people of Indonesia.  His willingness to serve the country was bigger than his simple country life dream.  Behind his boyish face lies a very kind, religious, soft and romantic lover who was so misunderstood by millions of Indonesian people. 

I am such a hopeless romantic that his book gave the same effect like addictive sad Korean dramas.  I cried when he wrote about his sadness, I cried when he wrote about his prayer and I cried when he mentioned about his promise to Ibu Ainun. 

Every woman will wish to have a husband like him....  This is the real love story...  Although the book has been made into movie, I still prefer the book.  I always prefer books more than movies because of the deeper emotional impact of (written) words compared to actions (in movies).

After finished reading the book, I saw someone's Facebook page posting a youtube video of "Inside Malaysia's Shadow States".  I didn't know what to expect at all so when I clicked the video, I was surprised to find that the video is about revealing the corruption case in Sarawak.  Initially I thought the video is about Sarawak tourism (I was thinking about going to Kuching for next holiday trip).

This brave guy from Global Witness has actually gone undercover and videotaped his conversations with the corrupts.  I cried again.... This time not about love story... but cried to see how "cleverer people" easily take advantage of those who don't have access to knowledge.  I cried when I saw how the Sarawakians who live deep in the jungle have been taken advantage of.  I was so angry listening to the insulting remarks made by the self-confessed "cleverer (but super corrupted) leader" about his own people.  And to make it worse, they are so proud of being able to "con" the people and the constitution...!!

After three rounds of crying, I thought I had done enough damage to my eye bags but noooo.... I cried again... this time because of the haze outside.  After a week of not-so-bad air quality, today the sky is grey and hazy again.  This means that I had to close all the doors and windows at all time.  This means that I have to switch on the A/C 24 hours again... It means that my electricity bill for this month will keep on increasing... It also means that I have to wash my car again.... It also means I can't go out buying nasi lemak from the roadside stall again... (who would want to have nasi lemak sprinkled with Sumatera's ashes?)

Now.. tell me.... how not to cry...???

Some Love Affairs to Remember...

Social Media like Facebook and Twitter have done excellent jobs in bringing people together, reuniting long lost friends and meeting new friends.  While I am still struggling to "understand" Twitter, I am very comfortable with using Facebook as my medium of interactions with friends and relatives.

Throughout the several years of using Facebook, I saw so many things Facebook can do to relationships.  Facebook is like a double-edged sword : you can use it to your benefit or you can allow it to ruin your mood/reputation/life. 

Currently my Facebook is not as "intimate" as it used to be where only REAL friends and relatives know what's going on in my life.  Afraid of being labelled a snob or "sombong" and not wanting to hurt or belittle others, a lot of time I have to accept acquaintances "adding friends" to my FB friends list although we don't really interact.  A lot of "friends" in my Facebook list are actually acquaintances that will probably sit next to me in a restaurant but don't recognise me at all because we only met once or twice long time ago.

Because of this I have stopped posting private status that gives hints about my life.  I become like a celebrity who has to take care of her reputation.  I even put a nice picture of myself (with make up on) in my profile which doesn't look like me at all.  Some "friends" were shocked when they see me in real life.

I may look like this on my Facebook picture:

But in real life, I look very much like this:

(....hahahahaha... I wish....;)

Thanks to Facebook.... millions of ordinary people get chances to feel like celebrities, show off picture perfect photos for people to see and being "checked out" regularly like Hollywood actors. 

In this post, I am not going to tell you how to handle paparazzi or how to pose perfectly on your Profile Picture or what to post on your status (to make your friends envious).

One of the reasons I write this post is because I had friends whose lives had been altered tremendously because of Facebook.

Friend # 1:
Single beautiful woman who needed a friend ended up being poorer $3,000 from helping out her "Facebook boyfriend" who "lost" his wallet while dating her.  He needed to go back to "his home country" immediately because his mother was sick when someone "stole" his purse in one of their romantic diners.  Being a good person, she "lent" her money to buy airplane ticket and pay for the hotel bill.  The only thing is : she never saw the airplane ticket nor heard from him ever again.

She couldn't do anything else other than doing this:

Friend #2:
A woman met her old friend from high school.  Both have been married for more than 10 years and have kids.  One day the woman had a fight with her husband and at the same time the husband was tired of his nagging wife.  Both confided in each other thru the Facebook inbox.  After months of exchanging messages in the inbox, they became "very close friends".  The cupid was very naughty and shot his arrows. They fell in love and had an "online and telephone affair".  Some say it's not really an affair because they don't really meet and "do" it. 

I looked up at some dictionaries and found out that an affair means a romantic relationship, sometimes one of brief duration, between two people who are not married to each other.

Although they never met, they had behaved differently towards their spouses. Their changes of behaviours created some suspicions from their spouses.  After awhile their spouses found out about their relationship. 

Needless to say, things became chaotic and stressful. While neither of them leaves their marriages, the relationship between husbands and wives has been negatively effected and the children, as always, became the victims.

Friend #3:
A single young woman looking for a rich husband.  She was approached by a "perfect" gentleman who swept her feet by his charming look, lifestyle and sweet words.  After a few months exchanging hundreds of love messages, sms's and phone calls, they decided to "get married".  They never met in real life.  Her parents were "informed" about her decision to go to his country and marry him over there.  Her parents felt suspicious and reminded her it could be dangerous. She was offended and mad for not being allowed to get married with the man she loved. She thought she was old enough to make her own decision.  She was adamant about her wedding plan.  She would go and get married even without her parents's consent. Her parents were so upset that they disowned her.

She withdrew her saving to make a passport, buy an airplane ticket and a wedding gown.  A few days before departure, a lady from custom department called her that she had a package addressed for her.  The custom could not release the goods because they found out that the goods worth more than U$40,000.  The package contained gold and diamond jewelleries from a man from Canada.  Her boyfriend name was listed as the sender.  When she called her boyfriend, he said he wanted to give her a surprise gift as a token of love. He wanted her to wear those jewelleries when she meets him later.  She was elated and touched on how "perfect" he was.  The custom department called her again telling her that she needed to pay tax of RM10,000 to release the goods. 

She withdrew some money and transferred it to the "custom department's personnel bank account".

Right after she made the transfer, she never heard anything from her perfect boyfriend anymore. His phone number was not active and his Facebook account was closed down.  She was left with RM10,000 poorer, a useless wedding gown, a non-refundable airplane ticket and guilt/shame towards her parents.

Most of the victims I know are women... But I do wonder if there are male victims as well..

If you ever encounter any man who is too perfect to be true.. please beware.... (it  may be your husband testing you..!!)

Happy Facebooking and have a great weekend..!!




PS  :  My husband doesn't have and refuse to have any Facebook account.  Initially I thought he was a bit "technologically challenged" but now I think he just can't handle paparazzi as well as his wife...;)


all images are courtesy of http://freeditigalphotos.net

Pitch Black

I was shocked and couldn't believe what I heard on the phone. My boss told me to ask everyone to leave the office immediately and seal the office. When I asked him why, he asked me to go to the rooftop and look around.

I ran to the rooftop of my office building and stunned... I saw smokes everywhere and thousands of people were on the street chanting something I couldn't hear properly.  The mob looked angry and they were marching towards my office.

I ran quickly and asked the HR department to make a loud announcement, asking everyone to leave the office as soon as possible. My handphone rang and I could hear my boss's voice, "Please bring all our Chinese staffs with you and hide.  I heard they are attacking Chinese and non-muslims.  I am stuck near Tanah Abang and my car couldn't even move.  Please be safe."

I walked out quickly from the building with my colleagues. We couldn't drive our cars out of the office garage as the street was jammed badly.  We didn't know where to go but we just walked to avoid the incoming mob. A colleague from the IT department suggested us to walk towards a hotel.  I didn't know his reason but nobody had any idea where to go, so we just followed him.

We managed to seek refuge at the nearby Pan Pacific Hotel at Jalan Thamrin.  Somehow we felt that hotel was safe.  The hotel had more than 20 security guards manning the lobby and the entrances.  We saw so many foreign reporters and a lot of people like us, sitting on the floor with blank faces, trying to believe that they were dreaming.

For a few days after that I lived in fear. 
For a few weeks after that I lived to listen to horror stories of assaults, rapes and murders.
For a few months after that I lived trying to understand what has happened to my country.

It's been 15 years since that tragedy took place but I can still remember everything vividly. 

Today marks the 15 year anniversary of the dark day in Indonesian history that many tried to ignore and forget.  But Chinese Indonesians who lived in Jakarta, Bandung and Solo on 13-15 May 1998 will never forget their experiences.  Hundreds of churches were burnt, hundreds of banks were robbed, thousands of shops were looted, thousands of Chinese were assaulted, hundreds of Chinese women were raped and murdered.

Fifteen years on.... nobody has been charged, nobody has been punished and nobody has bothered to investigate who is the person behind the "movement".  It stays like an open wound that was left untreated until it heals by itself, leaving a huge scary scar.  While the wound is healed, the scar will always be there to remind us of that tragic 3 days.

So many theories sprouted.  Some said it's the works of Suharto's son-in-law, General Prabowo, to topple him.  Some said it's the works of CIA to destabilize Southeast Asia.  Some said it's the student movements to end Suharto's presidency.  Some said that the Muslims want to wipe out all the Christians from Indonesia. Some even said it's the works of George Soros to gain profit from the stumbling stock market.

Nobody knows which theory is true but I can attest that the tragedy happens because our people were easily divided and provoked to fight each other.  The best war strategy is to "divide and conquer" or de-vide-et-impera. The strategy worked well when the Dutch colonized Indonesia for 350 years in the 1700's and I believe it still works well now too.

The strategy of "divide and conquer" is used not only to break a country apart but also to break friendship, family relationship and business relationship. 

I saw this strategy being used far too often... I saw it during the last General Election of Malaysia.  Certain politicians made some provocations to make the Malays hate the Chinese, make the Chinese hate the Indians and make the Indians hate the Malays. 

I saw "de-vide-et-impera" at work and I hated it.  It reminded me of the 1998 tragedy.

Fortunately there are a lot of Malaysians who can think with their head instead of their crazy irrational emotions.  They choose to unite instead of divided.

The last Malaysian GE reminded me again on the importance of Unity. 

Indonesia will have its election next year.  I wish the people will be strong and not easily provoked to hate each other.  This sad anniversary of 13 May 1998 should remind all of us not to believe everything we read and hear easily, not to be influenced and provoked to hate certain races blindly...

I wish for a society who can think before believing, who will think before speaking, and who will think before writing anything on FB wall..

I would like to take a moment of silence to remember the thousands of daughters and sons of Indonesia who suffered, traumatized, handicapped and died without justice....

My prayer is with them... may God bless their souls...

"When there is no enemy within....

......the enemies outside cannot hurt you.”   Winston Churchill

Don't STOP...!!!

My eldest daughter is in a stage where she HATES (yes... hates with capital letters) School...  She is in Primary 4 where the teachers started bombarding her with tons of homework and exams.  Her sweet teacher turned out to be a super duper mean woman (she said), her bag is waaaay heavier than my grocery bags and her hours in school are longer than my working hours.  This year she started her required co-curriculum activities at school.  She participated in Puteri Islam, Chess Club, Theatre and English Club. 

Just looking at her made me feel tired....

I remember when I was in Primary School, I didn't have all those extra curriculum at school but my mother put me in Mandarin tuition which I hated very much... I hated the fact that I had to struggle to stay awake listening to Laoshe for one full hour in the afternoon instead of spending my precious time climbing guava tree with my friends.  Now I hate the fact that I hated the Mandarin tuition because after all the years spent struggling in Mandarin tuition, I still can't speak Mandarin..!! What a waste of time... Imagine how many guavas I could pluck if I didn't attend that useless tuition..!!

My high school was even worse... I remember I used to stay awake until past midnight to study for exams and to finish my homework.  My school started at 6.45am so when I left home at 6.15 in the morning I usually continued my sleep in the car until the driver woke me up infront of the school.  I was an A-student during my high school years... but now... if you asked me something about whatever I learned at that time, I totally don't remember anything.  I studied for the exams... after that.... everything was erased from my memory.  Sooo... another waste of time, right?  Why should I suffer staying late to study if I would forget everything when the bell rang?

At that time I studied because I had to...

In College, I studied hard because I wanted to graduate as soon as possible and I had a big responsibility to make my parents proud of me.  I studied to score high GPAs so I could enter the job market easily.  I studied because I had to... I never enjoyed it.

When I met my husband I was totally surprised.... He LOVES (yes, loves with capital letters) studying...!! He really enjoys reading "serious books".  He has been thinking about going back to schools but he has not had the time yet....

I was shocked to know that there is actually a person who likes to be tortured by serious books and lectures and homeworks...

After many why's and how's, finally I understand why he loves learning.... He treats studying as learning new stuffs.   He finds a lof of interesting stuffs that enrich his life by learning something new. 

During his school years, he was never forced to study.... He had great teachers who made learning fun... He said he never really studied and he never felt tortured doing homework because everything was done in a fun way...  He remembers his days in boarding school as the most fun time of his life, playing the whole day... But yet, he can remember all the chemistry, physics, history, geography lessons he got from his high school days...!!

There I was.... studying hard, staying late, tortured by the homework.  Result : forget everything..!

His case : playing the whole day, having fun. Result : remember everything he learned at school.

He even knows that Burkina Faso is a name of a country in Africa..!! I thought it was a fancy name for a new branded handbag, I didn't remember I ever learned about Burkina Faso at school... (my high school Geography teacher would cry if he heard this)

IT'S NOT FAIR....!!!

Now that I grow wiser...(...ehhhmmmm...) I learn to love learning.... Since I don't need to have high scores or to pass any exam, I don't study because I have to anymore... I study because I want to learn new skills, I want to know new stuffs, I want to explore more interesting things...

I feel that I am living a richer life... all because of the new things I learn everyday...

Last year my friend asked me to go to this seminar on internet business. I was very reluctant at first because I had very little knowledge on IT.  Technology scared me.... Internet meant emails and google. But my husband urged me to go... he even accompanied me to the seminar.  I still remember him saying," Why are you so scared of learning new stuffs?  You have nothing to lose... Just go to the seminar.... If you like it, you can act on it and if you don't, we'll have some nice ikan bakar around that area."

I was glad I went to that seminar.... It started my journey in getting intimate with internet stuffs.  I even enrolled myself for a 9-month program to learn more... My life is indeed richer... I never thought that I would be able to build a website.  Now I have my own website.... and... I even publish an ebook...!!  It has been a very interesting and fun journey....

One of my obligations as a Muslim is to seek knowledge and spread it for the benefit of the humankind.

According to Al-Tharmidzi (Hadith 74), The Prophet Muhammad (SAW) said :

The seeking of knowledge is an obligatory of every Muslim."


Confucious once said :

I hear and I forget.  I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

If you are interested to know more about internet life (and business), I list down a few upcoming seminars that may help you start the journey.


This one is conducted by the celebrities...!! The Seminar is in Bahasa Malaysia.


Click here to learn more:

or you can also try this one by Patric Chan.  This seminar is conducted in English...


Click here to learn more:

Woman ooooh woman...

Women always cry out for discriminations...
Women want emancipation and gender equality...
Some women even want to be born as men....

I have seen women with muscular bodies.... trying to look more like men (and make "normal" hunks looked less macho)

I heard and read condemnations from foreigners on how women were badly discriminated in the "less developed countries" like those in Asia and Middle East.... forgetting that Asians have a lot of FEMALE leaders (Presidents and Prime Ministers) in their histories.... We have Corazon Aquino, Megawati Soekarnoputri, Benazir Bhutto, Pratibha Patil, Gloria Maccapagal-Arroyo, etc... (while until now, there has never been a Female US President).

Are we really discriminated?  Do we really want to be treated as a man?

If you ask me those questions....

My answers are... NO NO NO NO NO....

I don't want to have gender equality....
I don't want to be treated like a man....
I think women should be treated differently....

 

Don't shoot a nasty look at me..!!


I am fully aware that in some parts of the world women are still very oppressed...... but I am not talking about them now.... I am talking about us... about you and me...




I believe a woman should be treated with respect and care as a woman, not as a man.

C'mon.... God created Men AND Women...
I am sure my God is super duper smart so that He created two totally different humans, Men and Women...

If Man and Woman are to be treated equally... might as well, no need to create two different things..

Some of my friends complained that it's nice to be men... no need to give birth, no need to have period cramps... but when I asked them to work fulltime to fully support the family, go under the car to fix car tyres, lift the heavy bedframe to make room arrangement or simply change the light bulbs.. they said : Nooooo... that's a man's job... I don't want to do that...!! So, what do you want.. woman?

I used to say to my girlfriends... Jangan melanggar kodrat.. (Don't go against your fate).

God has created us to be women. Accept it.... We can not change it... (technically yes, with plastic surgery.. but only under a special case). 

Actually we have to embrace it....

We are lucky to have the previledge of feeling the most intense love as a mother...
We have the previledge of having fun with handbags and make ups...
We have the previledge of having long beautiful hair without someone staring at us...
We have the previledge of wearing blings blings and anything glamorous...

and of course, we have the previledge of saying," sorry darling.... I am soooo tired today... I am having my period... could you please do this, this, this, that, that, and this one too and... pleeeaase take that shopping bags from the car...? It's too heavy for a woman...."

Celebrating the 100th Anniversary of International Woman's Day on March 08 this year, let's embrace ourselves for being a woman.  Let's release all the feminine vibes in us...

Let's HAVE FUN..

A Brother....?? Nooooo Way..

Last week I went back to Bandung for our annual Chinese New Year trip.  As always, it was too short... When I left Bandung, I felt I didn't have enough time to do things I was supposed to do and to buy things I thought I would buy.  But on the brighter side, I also didn't have enough time to increase the fatty tissues around my belly and to poke larger holes in my wallet... :)

On Valentine's day I met a few old friends whom I didn't see for 20 years... It was so nice to be able to meet and chit chat with them again.  Despite of our sagging skins and expanding waist lines, we haven't really changed.  We giggled and talked and ate and giggled again and talked again and laughed loudly.... We felt like high school girls again.. (minus the tall "Duran Duran's spiky hair" and Madonna's net stocking)

Since it was Valentine's day, we talked about how Valentine's days have gone unnoticed after a few years of marriage.  I told them that I had never really celebrated Valentine's day with my husband.  Then one of my friends told me,"Yeah... Valentine's is nothing now.  No more chocolate and flowers anymore.... My husband and I are like brother and sister now. Don't you agree?"

Hey baby... Of course I don't agree.....!

What do you mean like brother and sister...??

Being married for almost 13 years haven't changed my relationship with my husband.  He is NOT like a brother to me...

I have 2 brothers and my relationship with them is no way close to my relationship with my husband.  

I DON'T kiss my brothers...!! (YYYYeeewwwwww...... GROSS....!! Major TURN OFF...!!)
No offend, brothers... I am just not in to you... ;)

I know... I know..... before you protest.. I understand... It's not what she meant... Of course she didn't kiss her brother too...!! (you think I have a crazy friend..??)

But I think husband and wife relationship is nothing like brotherhood or sisterhood or any friendship kind of thing....

Some couple say that their spouses are their "best friends"

Maybe it's true for some.... But it is not the case with me....

I have my BFFs and my relationship with them is very different from my relationship with my husband.

I share juicy secrets with my BFFs.... but not with my husband
I could talk on the phone for hours with my BFFs.... but just 10 minutes with my husband
I share my crazy stupid pictures with my BFFs... but hide them from my husband
I listen to my BFFs dating details.... but.... God forbid... no way I would want to hear my husband's
I share lipstick with my BFFs... but... (of course you know the answer... he doesn't even use lip balm)

My husband was and IS my lover...... I don't plan to change it into other kind of relationship...

I don't want to be her little sister nor do I want to be his best buddy who would walk with him under the scorching sun for 5 hours in the golf course.

I don't know about you though....

Is your husband like a brother to you? 
Is your wife like a little sister to you? 

If the answer is yes, then I'd like to advise you to stop kissing your spouse.... 'coz it's totally disgusting...!!

What's in the name?

I was baffled with all the big hoohaa in Malaysia about the government and royalties prohibiting non-muslims to use the word Allah.

I converted from Christianity.  During my "Christian time" I had always used the word Allah.  Allah is the God of Abraham, of Moses, of Daud and God of all the prophets mentioned in the Bible.  I had never been confused about the meaning of Allah nor who He was.  He is the creator of the earth we are living now. All Christians in Indonesia have been addressing God of Abraham as Allah since long long time ago.  Allah is mentioned hundreds of times in the Bible.  Having the largest Muslim population in the world, Indonesian Muslims never prohibit Christians or Catholics to use Allah.

Since I was a little girl, whenever I prayed, I always started my prayer with "Allah Tuhan kami di surga" or in English "Allah, our God in heaven".  I had always prayed to Allah.  So when I converted to Islam, it was not difficult at all... I still pray to the same Allah whom I had been praying to since I was a little girl.  The only different is the ending... I used to end my prayer with "Dalam nama Tuhan Yesus kami berdoa. Amien." or in English "I prayed in the name of Jesus Christ. Amien."  Now I don't end my prayer with that line anymore.

For the past 2 years, there has been a debate in Malaysia on prohibiting non-muslims to use the word Allah.  I find it very strange considering that Islam and Christianity came from the same root.  When mentioning Allah, Christians refer to the God of Abraham, the Creator of Adam and Eve, the Almighty.  This is exactly the same with Islam. 

Fortunately Indonesians don't need to go thru this debate or else all the millions Christians and Catholics would have to change the name of God to something else.  What name should they pick? Yahweh? Jehovah? It would feel very weird to have to change your God's name, wouldn't it? 

Being a Muslim convert allows me to understand both Islam and Christianity.  These two religions are very similar to each other.  Both shared the same prophets and teachings. Surah Al-Baqarah of Al-Quran mentions several times about the confirmation of Allah sending Torah (Taurat) and Injil (Bible) thru Moses and Jesus.

Instead of emphasizing the similarities, people keep on arguing on the differences of these two religions and on which one is the best.

Being a convert, I received broadcast messages (blackberry messangers) from both sides, from my Christian and Muslim friends, attacking each other.  The messages were meant to create anger and provoke the readers to hate the other religion.  While I usually deleted and ignored such messages, I do have a lot of friends who trully believe those messages and forward or broadcast them to their contacts.  I pitied them for completely believing the messages blindly without bothering to check the facts.  In this internet age, information flows freely... It is our duty as a brain-owner to filter any information going into our brains or else our brains will be clogged with rubbish.

Wars have been made in the name of Allah and Jesus as if Allah and Jesus are war lovers.

It really saddens me.... I long to see people from all different religions live side by side in harmony, SINCERELY accepting the differences...

When I was young I couldn't understand the lyrics of John Lenon's Imagine.  I always thought that he was a rebelious atheist who didn't like people having religions.  Now I understand it better... He saw how religions created wars, thus he imagined if there were no religion, there must be no war...

Don't get me wrong... I understand his thinking but it doesn't mean I agree with him.  I still believe in the importance of religions. Religions should bring the good and eradicate the evils of their followers.  They should provide guidelines and bring peace to the people....

Science investigates....
Religion interprets...
Science gives man knowledge which is power...
Religion gives man wisdom which is control....
Martin Luther King Jr.

I believe religion should be personal, not forced.  It is a very intimate and beautiful relationship between a human and its creator.  It is up to us on how we want to name our creator in our prayers, just like it's up to us on how to call our father : papa, papi, daddy, dad, pap, bapak, ayah, abah, or whatever it is.  Everyone calls his/her father with different name but it points to the same role.

Usually I avoid this kind of writing... about religions and such.. But this time I really can't stand it.. I am just tired of reading all the arguments, fights and attacks on people of different religions.

"One's own religion is after all a matter between oneself and one's Maker and no one else's." - Mahatma Gandhi.

Penny Wise Pound Foolish

I didn't plan on going anywhere this school holiday as I will be busy packing and moving to our new house.  But my husband felt guilty for not taking the kids anywhere, so he suggested on going to Legoland because it's just a 5-hour drive from KL.

While the kids had lots of fun at Legoland, my husband enjoyed his shopping at the Johor Premium Factory Outlet tremendously.  For those of you who don't really know me, let me tell you a bit about my view on shopping.  My idea of shopping is grocery and houseware shopping.  I can spend hours in groceries or any shops selling plates, glasses and other cooking gadgets but I can't stand more than 30 minutes in stores that sell clothes, shoes, fabrics or handbags.

I buy clothes, handbags or shoes based on necessity not based on the latest fashion or because I don't have one to match my new hair colour.  Besides, my hair has only 2 colours : super dark brown or light brown (after perming or spending too much time under the sun).  So basically I don't need much..

My husband is the opposite.  He LOVES shopping... especially shoes, suits and anything related to golf.  Since I try to be a "good wife" everytime he asks me to accompany him for shopping, I always oblige.  But this time I was in for a real trouble... The Premium Outlet that we visited has more than 40 stores selling discounted branded shoes, handbags, sport items, suits and NOTHING on household items..!

He was sooooo happy.  He went in to almost every shops..! I tagged along for the first 1 hour but after that I just couldn't stand it anymore.  So... I headed to the foodcourt to do my real "shopping". 

This is where my shopping was done... :)

Luckily the foodcourt has variety of stalls.  While waiting for him, I tried the Chinese stall selling steamed dishes.  I was so happy to find my old-time favourite dish turned halal.  I used to love this Minced Pork Steamed with Salted Fish and Preserved Kale.  It's been 15 years since the last time I had that.. So when I saw the shop selling the same stuff with chicken substitute, I was estatic..!!  This stall really sells halal traditional Chinese food...! Next one I tried was : Stewed Pickled Duck.  Yuuuummmmyyyy...!! 

We spent about 6 hours at the FO so it just didn't make sense if I only spend 1 hour of "shopping".  I hopped to a Korean stall for Dolsat Bim Bim Bab and Kimchi.  Nice and spicy... The shopping went on and on until I tried at least 6 different dishes, not including the stop at the cozy Dragon Cafe for some Carrot Cake with Cream Cheese, Deep Fried Mushroom and Coffee..!

Very yummy crunchy Fried Oyster Mushroom

Sitting down at the foodcourt and cafes while waiting for my husband, I couldn't help looking around observing people.  I was fascinated to see how long the line was at the Coach outlet.  I think the discount must be good because people were willing to wait in line under the hot sun.  As for me, I would prefer the comfy of my air-cond foodcourt anytime.

One very interesting (if not annoying) thing that I noticed was the parking lot.  The open-air parking lot was occupied by less than 20%.  I wondered how those people came to the FO because there was no public transport in the area.  The FO is smacked in the middle of nowhere. 

When I left the FO, I saw cars parked by the road side... That's why the parking lot was empty...!!! Those people refused to pay RM3 for parking and parked their cars outside.  OMG... these people were in PREMIUM Factory Outlet that sell nothing less than branded stuffs and they refused to spend RM3..???? I even saw a few BMW and Mercedes Benz there...!

This thing reminded me of an acquaintance of mine.  He drove a posh BMW M3 series, wore branded stuff from head to toe but when we ate out with a bunch of friends, he just ordered "warm water" and nothing else.  He said he could have his meal at home, no need to "waste" money on over-priced restaurant food.  I remember one day we went to an American restaurant and we all ordered the famous hamburgers.  The burgers were huge so ladies couldn't finish the french fries that served along the burgers. After we finished our meals, he ask for a plastic container from the waiter.  He collected all the french fries from everyone's plates, put them inside the container and proudly told us that it's gonna be his supper. That guy remains my acquaintance... I can't even upgrade him to "my friend" because I really can't understand him.

I also know one rich lady who always takes sachets of chilli sauce, tomato sauce and sugar whenever she dines out.  She would take as many sachets as possible for her personal usage at home.  If she can afford to have a few mansions and houses overseas, how on earth can't she afford to buy a bottle of tomato ketchup and a gallon of chilli sauce? 

I call these kind of people as Rich People with Poor Heart.  As much as they irritate and embarrass me, actually I pity them because most of them don't realize that what they do are not normal. They don't feel they are rich.  They are afraid that their money will not be enough for their future.  And worse, they don't know that people are talking about their peculiar habits behind their backs.

My husband has other theory though : "They become rich because they are stingy.. People like us who always spend and give will never get rich."

I totally disagree with him.  I feel very rich although my bank account is nothing close to theirs and my house is the same size with their bathrooms.  Sometimes when I went out with them, I offered to pay for their meals (which of course they never refused).  When I paid for them, I trully felt that I was richer than them.... I could really feel all the blessings I have.... It made me feel like a billionaire... (..... the song Billionaire by Bruno Mars is ringing in my ears now)

OK... Now... End of the Factory Outlet story:

• My husband came back with bags of suits, trousers and belts. 
• I came back with an extra 2 kg of fat and an idea for my blog...!!

How is that for a shopping day?

Smooth Operator

When I used to work full time, I relied heavily on delivery services. Any working mother would understand how difficult it is to take care of 2 toddlers while working full time crunching numbers behind computers. I am guilty of taking an easy way of feeding my kids for fast food lunches.

Hotline delivery numbers of Mc Donald’s, Ayamas, Domino’s Pizza and Roast Kitchen were stored as important numbers in my handphone. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t feed them fast food everyday. My maid usually cooked for them but there were days when she didn’t have anything in the fridge and I didn’t have time to do grocery shopping because I had to work until late at night.

I just love delivery service.  It saves my time and makes my kids happy.  I love those automated call centers that can detect my phone numbers right away so I don't need to tell them my phone numbers and full address anymore.

As much as I love those delivery services, sometimes calling a call center can be a real pain especially when the operator (or they call it consultant nowadays) can't really speak proper English or Bahasa, mumbles thru the whole conversation and has bad hearing problems.

I recall my experience last week that made me fuming mad.

I called Mc Donald's delivery service of 1-300-131-300 at 10.30 am to order breakfast for my kids and I. Usually it took me a brief 5 minutes to order the regular Sausage Mc Muffins. Last week it took me more than 20 minutes...!! I could have just driven to the nearest Mc Donald's and come back. Unfortunately my car was in service thus leaving me stranded at home.

When I called that hot line, instead of the regular familiar human voice, it was replaced with answering machine. Then the normal "phone banking tone" followed :

Press 1 for Bahasa Malaysia and press 2 for English. I pressed 2.

After I pressed no 2, I prepared myself to speak to a human. To my surprise, I heard another recorded voice saying :
For delivery status press 1, to place an order press 2.

I pressed 2 again.

Then this machine 'talked' to me : Please call 03.3029402 (i can't remember the numbers) to place an order.

I rushed like a mad woman trying to get a pen to write down the number. Just when I finally found a pen, the machine said : You have entered invalid number. Thank you for calling Mc Donald's. Good Bye. AAAraaarrrgghhh.. (.....take a deep breath, calm your mind, imagine the good times and smile..... the voice from my Yoga instructor ringing in my ears)

So.... with a pen and a piece of paper, I repeated the whole process, calling 1-300-131-300 again..... not to order, but just to get the numbers.

Finally I got the numbers written down. Then I called the new phone number.

I was greeted by the machine "Welcome to Mc Donald's" with the jinggle.. and listening to the whole promotion of bla bla bla... I waited for a good 3 minutes until a lady picked up the line and talked to me.

After all the wishy wooshy good morning, welcome greeting, etc. finally I told her that I wanted to place an order. To my horror... she said," I am sorry mam, if you want to place an order, please call 1-300-131-300."

I was fuming mad... I told her that I did call that number but the machine "TOLD" me that I had to call this number. (Isn't it crazy that now a machine "tells" a human what to do instead of a human commands a machine? And I am even a crazier woman to obey that machine). She insisted that she couldn't take my order and I had to call the number again. I told her all the ordeals I had to go thru previously. She said," Yes, I understand but you should ignore the message when it says calling this number. You should press no 2 again instead."

How on earth should I know that..??? I wanted to scream at her but I knew that it's not her fault. She didn't implement the system and I was sure I was not the only one who got irritated. I told her to tell the manager that the call center system is really bad now. She acknowledged that. She told me that they changed the management and the new management changed the whole call center system.

I almost gave up but I tried my best to keep my cool... The words from my motivational speaker talked to me : "When you give up, actually you are very very close to success." At that time success meant having the Sausages Mc Muffins infront of me..!!

So I followed the instructions given. Called the 1-300-131-300 again.... press 2 again, then 2 again, then 2 again. Finally it worked...!!

I ordered the breakfast sets. Yipeeeee....

When the operator asked me if there was anything else she could help me, I told her to tell the manager how bad the new system was. I told her my 20 minutes experience of calling the hotline. She apologized and again said that they just had a change in management who changed the whole system of call center. I told her to tell the manager to try placing an order thru 1-300-131-300 himself to feel how the customers feel.

I pity the operators. I am sure not everyone is as "cool" as me ... ;). From their calm tones, I am sure they get screamed and scolded at very often because of this. It seemed like they had expected me to scream at them...!

This is the classic case of the front-line employees got the slaps because of the upper management's decision.

I hope the management gets my message and revert to the old user-friendly system. Sometimes I still believe in the saying : If it ain't broken, don't fix it.

That morning, somehow the Sausage McMuffin didn't taste as nice... The whole experience made me lost the appetite for it. At that time suddenly I craved for some Steamy Hot Nasi Kukus Ilham with tongue-numbing Sambal Belacan and spicy Kuah Kari.

Nyarios Sunda

My husband's family hailed from Kelantan, one of the 9 states in Malaysia bordering with Thailand.  The Kelantanese culture, food and language are very different from other parts of Malaysia because they are heavily influenced by Thai.

All my in-laws have been living in Kuala Lumpur for more than 20 years but the connection with Kelantan is still very thick. Although fluent in both English and Bahasa Malaysia, my mother-in-law still talks in Kelantanese dialect, cooks and eats Kelantanese food (at least once a week) and uses the old traditional Kelantanese remedies when any of us gets sick (minyak mestika has always been in our cabinet).

When I first got married, everytime I met our Kelantanese relatives I would smile and smile and smile without uttering a single word.  I couldn't understand a single word they said.  They must be thinking that I was a very nice polite friendly "menantu" who loved to smile and didn't talk back even when they said bad things... (.... eeerrr... or maybe a stupid mute indon girl who only knew how to smile)

Over the years I learned more about the language.  I can understand it  much better than most people who live in Kuala Lumpur.  Although I can't really converse properly, I can understand 95% of Kelantanese conversation.  I grew to like their food and I learned to eat everything using my hands (without cutleries).  I could even eat the laksa using my bare fingers. Seriously...!!

My family was born and grew up in Bandung, the capital of West Java. Like Kelantanese, the people live in West Java have their own culture, food and tradition that are very different from other parts of Indonesia. All of us grew up speaking Sundanese, eating staple Sundanese food of nasi timbel, pepes tahu, ayam bakar, jambal roti and sambel terasi.  When we get sick, like all Sundanese, we always blame it on "masuk angin" (too much wind trapped in our bodies) or "panas dalam" (too much heat trapped in our bodies).  My husband once told me that it must be very easy to be a doctor in Bandung because there are only 2 major illnesses there.

Both my husband and I keep our mother tongues and traditions alive.  Until now I still speak in Bahasa Sunda with some of my friends and relatives.  Sometimes when I speak Bahasa Indonesia, it is heavily spiked with the Sundanese accent.  My friends used to make fun of me.  One of them even asked if I really went to US and lived there because I spoke like I just came back from Garut (a small town in West Java where everything is still very traditional).

I feel sad when the younger generations refuse to speak Bahasa Sunda.  They want to appear "Modern" by talking only in Bahasa Indonesia and English.  They think Bahasa Sunda is "kampung" and "not cool".  They think it is a useless language because it's only spoken in West Java.  They don't know that according to Wikipedia, Bahasa Sunda is spoken by 27 million people...!! More than Swedish (spoken by 10  million people).

I firmly believe that dialects have to be preserved.  The language, food and tradition of every culture should be kept alive.  It makes the world more interesting.  Imagine if everyone in the world speaks only English or Mandarin or Bahasa Indonesia or Spanish. It's really boring. isn't it? 

Every language is unique.  Not everything can be translated to English.  There are so many things in Bahasa Sunda that can't be translated to other language.  Until now I still can't find the right Bahasa Indonesia or English to translate or even describe the words "cileupeung" and "pikasebeleun". Sundanese use those words all the time and there is no word that can perfectly describe what they mean in other language.  Sundanese language is so rich and complex.  It is such a shame if urban kids in Bandung refuse to use it. 

Last year I went to this Indonesian restaurant in Kuala Lumpur for some Bakso (beef ball soup).  While I was waiting for my Bakso, I asked the waiter where he came from.  He said he came from Sukabumi.  Sukabumi is a small town 3 hours drive from my hometown.

Then I told him, "Mun ti Sukabumi mah tiasa atuh nyarios Sunda" (Since you are from Sukabumi, we can talk in Sundanese)

His reply, "Maaf, saya sudah lama kat sini, dah lupa Bahasa Sunda." (Sorry, I have been living here for a long time, I have forgotten Bahasa Sunda)

I asked him, "Memangnya sudah berapa lama tinggal di Malaysia?" (How long have you been living in Malaysia?)

His reply, "Sudah lama, sekitar 2 tahun." (Long time, 2 years already)

Aaaarggghhhh.... I feel like doing this to him....

Ciaaaatttttt...... (KICK his head)

Dzziiiiiiiiiiiiiiggggghhhhhh........ (and then SMACK his head)

He really annoyed me....!!

My only explanation why he has forgotten his mother language is because his brain is the size of a pea pod so he has to delete some memories to accomodate incoming new data. 

That's why I need to kick his head to make his brain swell into a normal size and then smack it to bring his conscious back..... Yes??

Sleeping Together...

Some of you will roll your eyes and tell me to get a room when you read this.  A few of you are probably in the same shoes with me.

Both my daughters have been sleeping in the same room with my husband and I.  We have been sleeping together since the day they were born.

Some of my friends think that I am being ridiculous.  They think that this arrangement is not good.  They  believe that I am not promoting independence towards my daughters. They also question the quality of my relationship with my husband. They also can't stand the ambiance of my bedroom with pink bedsheet and flowery pillows.

Before I made the decision on this sleeping arrangement, I had lengthy discussions with my husband and my mother.

My 4 siblings and I used to sleep together in the same room with my mom for at least 8 years.  I remember how she "combined" beds in the bedroom to prevent her kids from falling. She did what she did out of necessity and for practical reason.  She never thought about how sleeping arrangement could have emotional impact on the children. 

When I tried to analyze the impact of what she did, I can say that all of us grew up to be independent kids. I cooked my own meal during my primary school years albeit just fried eggs and fried rice. When I was just about 10 years old, I used to walk with my sister for swimming classes 2 km away from our house without any adult supervision.  When we were in high school, we went back from school taking public transportation. My bothers and sisters never had our parents pick us up from school. When I asked my mother how sleeping together with the children had affected her relationship with my father, she smiled and said, "We are still together, aren't we? And I think with 5 children, I can say that we were quite "productive".

When I discussed this with my husband, he said that we would only have the kids for 12 years at most.  After that we would be lucky if they don't ask to have some privacies.  He really believes in enjoying our time together as long as we can.

Fast forward to now... I am glad I decided to sleep together with our kids.  My mother has been right.  I love the 15 minutes we have together before the children sleep.  When they were younger, my husband and I used to take turns telling them bedtime stories.  Now we talk about anything and nothing.  Sometime we watch crazy stupid commercials on YouTube and have good laughs on the bed.  I love their smells when they sleep.  I love the feeling of hugging them at night. One night my daughter woke up in the middle of the night and recorded her daddy's snore using the ipad..!! 

We are moving to our new house soon.  My daughters will have to sleep in a different room.  I believe it's time for me to let them have their own spaces.  Part of me is relieved because I will soon be able to roll my back freely on the bed. I can have my white cotton-satin bedsheet back. I won't be kicked in the middle of the night anymore...

But part of me is also sad... Although it's just a room away, I feel like they are going away from me.. I know it's crazy but this thing has been bugging me for weeks now.  I am so tempted to move their beds into my room..!

But then I am reminded again by Sting : If your love someone, set them free.

And by Khalil Gibran

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable