Sunday, 12 January 2014

Delete and Block

I just had a very interesting weekend.

Last Thursday I felt very tired and my brain just refused to be filled with anything.  That kind of moment has happened a few times lately.  Whenever my brain sent me that strike signal, usually I would do something to relax and rejuvenate it by either going to supermarket or... peeking into my Facebook account.

When I signed into my FB, I saw there were messages in the "Others" folders.  Most of the time I ignore the "Others" folder because those are messages sent by some crazy conmen that are not in my friends list.

Most of the messages will be from foreigners and sound like these :

Hello dear, I just couldn't help myself to be captivated by your profile picture.  You look beautiful. (this is when I put Katy, my cat, in my profile picture..!!!)

Hi.. my name is General Geoffrey Norman and I would be happy if you add me as you friend.
Hello beautiful...
You look very angelic and nice.  I am dying and I need to give money to someone who will use it to help people. I trust you and I want to transfer my U$21,500,000 to you.
etc etc etc...

Last Thursday, I actually saw a  message from an Indonesian guy. From the name, I remembered him as my ex-staff when I used to work in Jakarta.  So I opened the message.  He said Hi and asked if I used Blackberry. If yes, he would like to have my PIN.  So I sent him my PIN.

When I tried to see his FB account, his picture was blurred so I couldn't him see clearly. Since he was not in my friends list, I couldn't see his photos and postings.

From what I remembered, he used to work with me for 2 years and resigned because he moved to another town to take care of his dying mother.  He was a very serious and hard working accountant who would stay with me in the office until 11pm whenever we had to meet our deadlines. This was 20 years ago.  So I was actually happy when he "found" me in FB.

We exchanged "Hello" and updated each other on our lives.  Since I had a 3-day workshops on the weekend, I couldn't chat with him too long.  I needed to prepare myself for the workshops.

On Friday morning when I was concentrating and trying to understand every word that my teacher said about iOS and Android App, this guy sent me a message in my blackberry.  He wished me good morning and asked what I was doing.  I wished him good morning and told him I was in a class so I couldn't chat.

Later that day, he sent me another message telling me that he thought I was beautiful.

I was like...???????

I thought that this guy must be out of his mind. I used to be his fierce boss for 2 years and now he texted me that..??

I didn't know what to react other than telling him,"Thank you but I am still in the class"

The following day, I woke up to a message from him (in my blackberry) : Good morning my pretty lady...

Again... I was like...????

I told my husband that I had a very bad feeling about this guy. There was no way he sent me those messages if he was normal. As always, my hubby dearest just shrugged it off.  He told me that I attracted "weird people" in my life.

Last night, this guy texted me again.... He asked what I was doing.  He also told me how much he missed me.

Helloooooo...??? Will you tell your fierce ex-boss that you miss her/him?

I didn't know what to answer....... But after several minutes I told him that sometimes I do miss our ex-colleagues too and I keep in touch with them via FB.  At this moment, I tried to remember who his closest colleagues were.  I needed to contact them to inquire if he was OK.  Unfortunately I lost contacts with most of them.  I only keep in touch with those who have FB account.

After exchanging more text messages, I felt weirder and weirder.

This morning he texted me again. He told me that he really really missed me. He told me that I looked like an angel (bidadari).

Aiyoooooo.... Cannot tahan laaaa... I had to whack his head...!!!  I was sure that he was not well. I needed to help him.. Poor guy, maybe he was having marital problem, maybe accounting made him crazy or maybe he swallowed some wrong pills.... I had to help him.

So I probed him with questions about his lives.

After ding dong ding dong here and there.... Finally he confessed...

We never met...!!!!! He never knew me before last weekend...

He is  not my ex-staff.  He saw my picture profile and contacted me.  He happened to use the same name with my ex-staff.  He also didn't know that I have a friend with the same name. He told me that he was "captivated' (AGAIN) by my picture in FB.  The last time I checked, my picture was a blurred black and white old photo.  How can someone be "captivated" by that picture...??


Wasting my time.  Definitely a conman.


Sunday, 5 January 2014

Girls' Trip

I went to Hongkong a few months ago to meet my girlfriends.  It was the first time for the 5 of us to have girls trip together after we get married. I departed from Kuala Lumpur while some of my friends departed from Jakarta and Bali.  We managed to take flights that arrived in Hongkong around the same time.

I met my girlfriends 18 years ago in Jakarta.  All of us were single at that time and we were all looking for the loves of our lives.  We were young, energetic, career-driven and full of lives.  We spent a lot of diners after work and weekend lunches until each of us got married and lived in different countries.

The past 15 years of our lives were filled with travelling with spouses, changing diapers, looking for the perfect kindergartens, sending kids to schools, going to pediatricians, going to school concerts and everything around kids.

We didn't really have time for ourselves. We didn't have a chance to meet each other.  We kept in touch occasionally using emails, sending pictures of our newborns, children birthdays and Christmas greetings. Then Facebook saved us... We updated each other using posts and pictures in Facebook until one day some of us decided to make their Facebook account idle.

During those years each of us changed... both physically (I am wider and heavier) and spiritually.  I converted to Islam when I got married to a "foreigner", a Malay guy from Malaysia. It changed my lifestyle dramatically.  I omitted pork and alcohol from my diet (replacing them with lamb and coffee instead).  I don't drink margaritas or tequilas when I go to clubs anymore, opting for a simple Coke or OJ instead.
While I am still enjoying Christmas lights, songs and atmosphere, I no longer put up Christmas tree in the house. I absorbed different culture and tradition in my new life as a Muslim in Malaysia.

All the changes in the past 15 years have changed the way I think, the way I live and the way I behave.  It has shaped me to be who I am today.  I feel that I am a different person from the person my friends used to know 15 years ago.

When all of us met in Hongkong, we spent hours of talking and giggling.  We slept around 4 or 5 o'clock in the morning.  We only managed to have 4 hours sleep everyday.  We talked about anything and nothing.  If you ask me what we talked about, honestly I don't remember.  All I remember is that we talked non-stop..!!

Four days passed and it was time for us to go home, to go back to our families and resume our responsibilities as mothers, wives, daughters and daughter-in-laws. It was a sad moment, thinking that we wouldn't be seeing each other again for a long time.  We made a pact to meet at least once a year now, travelling together again, leaving behind our roles at home and just be "girls" again.

After the travel, I realize that no matter how much each of us changed, real friends understand and adapt to each other. Real friends don't feel awkward after being devoid of personal conversation for 15 years.  Real friends can still find a million things to talk about as if our world is still the same as before.  Real friends don't judge.  Real friends don't pretend. Real friends see us for who we are. For them, I didn't change that much and for me, they don't change either.  We are still the same crazy loud girls who think that George Clooney is the hottest doctor in the world..!! We still think that mie ayam (chicken noodle) is the best remedy for stress and nothing can beat ice-cold Teh Botol during a hot sunny day.

This holiday is totally different from the normal holiday I take with my families. Although I had only 4 hours of sleep a day, I felt very refreshed after the holiday. When I have family holidays, usually I need a separate holiday after that, just to be alone and relax.  Although it is called holiday, family holidays mean I am still on duty to make sure my kids are well fed and taken care of.  I have to pack and unpack their clothes.  I have to entertain the kids (and their father) and follow schedules that involve theme parks, malls and kid-friendly restaurants. Those holidays are all about the kids.

This "girls trip" holiday is all about me. I felt free like a bird.  I felt young again. I felt like I was transported back to the past where I had no worry and no responsibility (and no cellulite..).

I believe all mothers need this break.  A break from duties. A break from being mommies. A break from being someone's wive.  A break from changing diapers.  A break from baby talk.

I am really looking forward to our next trip.

In the meantime I need to behave nicely and score A+ as a wife and a mother... I need to earn my next "exit permit" from the three creatures at home who work me non-stop, make me sweat in the kitchen, drive me nuts and spoil me with hugs and kisses.

Have a Happy New Year 2014...!!!