Thursday, 31 December 2015

Fireworks

I closed the last few minutes of 2015 by the road side, near my old house, waiting for fireworks display from nearby malls. This has been our rituals since the kids were toddlers. Inem always the one who is very excited about the fireworks, comparing which mall displays the best fireworks.

This year, as I looked at the firework, a sadness crept into my soul... Something I didn't feel in the previous years. The faces of my friends who passed away in 2015 came up. As I looked at the brightly lit sky, I saw their faces, I remembered of their smiles, their laughs, our conversations.... and suddenly I missed them. I wondered if they could see the fireworks from their place too.. I wonder if the fireworks sound louder from their place...  I wondered if they could feel what I felt.. 

While everyone "ooohh and aaaahhh" at the firework display, my mind raced back remembering the unforgettable moments I had in 2015. Slowly, the sad feeling subsided. I had many sad things happened in 2015 but I also had a lot of unexpected blessings and beautiful moments.

Allah called back three of my friends last year but I met many new friends in 2015. New friends can never replace the old friends but I hope one day these new friends will be my "old friends" too.. Not just old acquaintances.

I attended my high school reunion last year and re-acquaintanced with my old friends. It is really fun trying to match names and faces of old friends. I have always been terrible at remembering names. It embarrassed me to forget the names of friends who used to be in the same class with me. However, the embarrassment turned into laughters as a lot of them were also as bad as me in the name game.

Last year I had a chance to meet, chat and laugh with a few of my BFFs who were separated thousands of miles away from me. The meetings reminded me that no matter how far apart we are, how different our lives are now, when we are together, we are still the same crazy talkative women who think too much about everything and nothing. 

I also attended the wedding of my parents' BFF's son. My parents have been friends with them since their primary school days. I used to hang out in their house and have family vacations together. Their children become our best childhood friends. I admire and treasure this friendship. I don't see this kind of friendship everyday.  When my father was unwell, he cheered him up. When my father was too lazy to exercise, he picked him up and brought him for a walk. Last month, one of his daughters even bought a user-friendly smart phone for my father. The other daughter came to our house to set up and teach him how to use whatsapp and facebook.  (My parents love their Nokia phones.  My siblings and I bought them Blackberry and iPhones but they are hardly switched on.  We tried numerous times to teach them how to use smart phones but they insisted it's too complicated). My father listened to them and started using the new smart phone.

I feel so blessed to witness this kind of friendship.. I feel so blessed to have them in my life...: Ko Nam Seng, Ci Cen Mey, Nana, Fin2 and Raymond... You have touched our family's hearts more than you know. We are forever grateful.

I don't enjoy small talks and meaningless conversations with random people. I don't feel comfortable surrounded by acquaintances who may not remember me six months from now. I don't like attending parties where I know less than 50% of the party goers.

I need months and sometimes years to develop a friendship with someone. 

Because of that, I take friendship seriously. I take relationships seriously.
Because of that, my reflection of life in 2015 is about my friends and families.

Last night, after the fireworks died down, I saw the sky full of smokes. 
This morning, I woke up to a bright sky.

Last night, I let go all the sadness I had in 2015. I said goodbye to the heart-wrenching, tear-jerking and heart-pounding experiences. I let them disappear into the smokes.

This morning I woke up to a brand new page of my life. I pray to Allah to grant us colourful pages in 2016. I hope Allah bless us with more beautiful and meaningful moments.

To my readers... This blog is not an open blog. You read this because you are my friends, either on Facebook or Google+. From the bottom of my heart, I thank you for your friendship.

I wish you all a very Happy New Year... 
I wish you 365 days of happiness...
May God bless us all...