Wednesday, 20 June 2012

Beauty IS at the eyes of the beholder..

In rural Africa, the fatter a woman is the more beautiful she is.  Before a girl is married out, she will be force fed until she becomes very fat... very beautiful... (how I wish people who live around me think like them.. :)

Hundreds of years ago, the prettiest woman in China was a woman whose feet were perfectly bound at  the size of 7 cm.  Men got excited and aroused when they saw those tiny feet...

Definition of beauty differs in each culture... Perception of beauty differs for every single human being.  I once argued with my husband about this beautiful model.  With fair creamy flawless skin, big eyes, slim body and long black hair, I thought she was very beautiful.  When I mentioned it to my husband, he said she looks like Michael Jackson...!! I was shocked... He didn't notice all the qualities I saw in her but he did notice that she had artificial-look slim nose like Michael Jackson's.

From the wikipedia, I read that beauty is a characteristic of a person, animal, place, object, or idea that provides a perceptual experience of pleasure or satisfaction.

So whatever brings an experience of pleasure and satisfaction is beautiful. We get pleasure and satisfaction not only from what we see, but also from what we taste, what we touch, what we hear and most importantly from what we feel... 

I do believe that everyone CAN be beautiful regardless whether he/she is born fat, skinny, fair, dark, short, tall, handicapped or perfect as long as he/she brings pleasurable experience to the people around him/her.

I also believe that a person needs to take care of himself/herself to be beautiful.  I met one lady who kept complaining that she was ugly that's why she is never approached by men.  If I just look at her, I can see that she is beautiful... She is definitely slimmer and taller than me with perfect skin and big eyes.  But when I met her, a lot of times I couldn't stand being with her for more than 15 minutes.  She talked non-stop, bitching about everyone in her life who has been making her life miserable.. She has very strong body odour.. She doesn't care about the way she dresses because I could see stains and loose thread on her dress, all the time... She always put her hair up in a clip, never bother to comb it properly.. She talks with her mouth full of food, splatting food and saliva in the air.  After awhile, I couldn't see her beauty anymore... I finally believe her when she said she was ugly... She IS ugly.. but not because how she looks but because the way she behaves...

I really want to tell her that... but she is not a close friend of mine and I am afraid that she will take it differently, so I let her be ugly instead...

On another hand, I have a plump friend with small eyes and freckles on her face.  By most people's standard, she is nowhere close to being pretty.. But her husband is crazy about her.. She has tons of friends who would go to the end of the world to make her smile.. She loves life.. She is full of live.. Being with her makes me feel good.. She brings so much joy and laughters to the people around her.  She jokes about her extra 30 kg above BMI.  She never talks bad about other people, she always smells like she just gets out of a shower, she dresses like a lady who has millions of dollars although she bought the dress at a bargain shop and she never let her hair get messy or oily or (God forbid) smelly when she meets anybody...  She has such a profound dignity and respect for herself.  She makes herself beautiful.  She feels beautiful... I really think she is one gorgeous lady...

@Ladies...: Let's be beautiful..

@Men...: Please learn how to think like a rural African tribe..















Thursday, 14 June 2012

Happy Father's Day

A father is expected to be the captain who bring the ship to sail
A father is expected to bring food, comforts and wealths to the family
A father is expected to make the RIGHT decisions for the family all the time
A father is expected to know everything the family members ask
A father is expected to be composed all the time
A father is expected to be the plumber, electrician, porter, banker, driver, and technician of the family




A father is expected to be the pillar of strengths when things go wrong
A father is expected to be the protector of the family
A father is expected to be perfect...

It is very tiring to be a father...

Being a father is as difficult as being a mother...

Sometimes we forget that they are just normal human beings who struggle to learn about fatherhood, who make mistakes, who need to be told and advised, who need to be understood, who long to be pampered, who want to be care-free, who want to be goofy and crazy...

This Sunday, my daughters and I will let the father in our family to snore until the walls shatter, to play piano as long as he wants and as loud as he can, to play golf until he can't walk anymore, to eat his nasi daun pisang until he can't get up, and to watch football uninterrupted until his eyes sore.... 



Happy Father's Day everyone....

Wednesday, 13 June 2012

Everywhere same same lah... :)

When I met my Indonesian friends back home, I was frequently asked on whether I prefer to live in Kuala Lumpur or Jakarta/Bandung? My answer has always been the same.. No preferrence.  Most of them didn't believe me, of course, thinking that living overseas must be better.

I believe each country has its own charms and curses.

I love KL because it's where my family is.  It's a vibrant city filled with people from all over the world that contribute to the varied international eateries.  I love the fact that I can have affordable authentic Indian food for breakfast, Lebanese food for lunch, French pastries for tea break, Korean BBQ for dinner and Chinese food for supper. And the next day, I can have nasi lemak for breakfast, pasta for lunch, shawarma for tea break, tom yum for dinner and burger for supper.  I don't need to go to fancy restaurants or hotels to sample those food... I can find them almost anywhere in KL.  


In Jakarta and Bandung, eateries are mostly Indonesian food.  Most of western and "exotic" eateries charge exorbitant prices, nestled in fancy malls or 5-star hotels.  Those that charge decent prices serve food that have lose its authenticity or taste nothing like how it should be. 

I also love KL for its parks. While KL people complain for the lack of public parks, I feel that the parks in KL are very nice.  I love taking my kids to Lembah Kiara Park near my house where they can play in the playground, feed the tortoises and fish in the lake, walk into the small forrest behind it and do some exercises on the monkey bars.  I also enjoy Royal Lake Club for the serene lake, lush tropical gardens with lots of beautiful flowers and the huge playground where my kids can jump and run and climb freely.  All of them doesn't cost me a single sen. I don't need to beat traffic jam, search for parking space or find a special day to be in a park.




Jakarta and Bandung don't have free public park. If there is a small plot of land, traders will occupy it to sell bakso, pisang goreng, soto or anything that sells.  Free playground doesn't exist and people throw rubbish everywhere in open air, waiting for cleaners to sweep it for them. 

But one thing I don't like about KL is the feeling that I am not safe even when I am in my own house.  Most houses in KL are fully grilled.  I used to feel like I lived in a jail but I have no choice but to accept that without all those grilles, anybody can rob my house easily. 

I long to have a house like those in Indonesia where we can have courtyards and open garden in the middle of the house, without any grille. 

When I walk in a crowded place in Indonesia, I feel safe because if someone steals from me or does something bad to me, all I need to do is just scream and everyone will help.  In KL, everybody minds their own business. You can scream all you want, people would just stare at you.  The best thing that might happen is they might call the police using their mobile. By the time the police comes, the robbers will fled miles away.

I recall my experience 11 years ago.  I just finished a diner meeting with a friend and my husband at Pizza Hut near my house and walked into the car park when a group of 6 men in 3 motorcycles attacked my friend and tried to snatch her handbag. My first response was to scream so people would help (there were about 10 people nearby).  I expected my friend to let go her bag, scream and run.  Everything happened so fast.. I ran trying to get into the Pizza Hut asking the people to help. Instead of helping, the manager locked the door...!! We were there, stunned and nobody helped us until the thieves left us.  The manager only opened the door after he saw the thieves sped away.  None of the people there asked if we needed help.... all just stared...

If this thing happened in Indonesia, everyone in the vicinity would chase those 6 men, the diners would leave their pizza to join the crowd to beat, tie and send the robbers to the police station.  The kitchen crew would probably bring their butcher knives and join the fun too... Civilized people say that it's inhuman to take law into our own hands.  I would say it's street justice.  Because of that, no one dares to snatch or steal in crowded places in Indonesia. Over there life is simple, don't rob or steal if you don't want to be caught and beaten. It's not that there is no crime in Indonesia.  There are lots of them but as long as we are in crowded place, I can say we are pretty safe.  Here in KL, I feel  unsafe regardless where it is.

I love Indonesia for its friendly shop keepers, waiters, bank tellers and cashiers. They smile and serve customers pleasantly because they understand that their salaries depend on their employers' businesses.  If they are rude, they receive no business, the shops closed down and they will be out of job.  Again.. over there life is simple, give good service or you are out of business/job.

And of course the hair salons in Jakarta and Bandung are the best.... Most of them operate from houses, offering comforts, relaxing and less intimidating ambiance.  Not to mention all the food we can actually savour when we do our hair.  I used to go to my salon at 9am only to finish around 3pm, doing my body scrub, body massage, milk bath, steam bath, cream bath, menicure, pedicure and hair styling.  It all comes at a very reasonable price.



I have met few friends who long to live overseas and complain on every single thing about Malaysia. But when they live overseas, they envy me for having a maid to clean my house, do the dishes and be able to eat out several times a week without poking large holes in my wallet.

Well.... no country in this world is perfect. It all depends on what is important in our lives, whether we want safety, parks, public transports, comforts, affordability, entertainment, lights n glitz, climates, culture or even a simple culinary adventure.  No country has it all and we can't have it all...