For those who are not in Malaysia, be ready to have a shock of your life : Malaysia has (trust me, it really has) Obedient Wife Club.
Last week in the newspaper, the members of Obedient Wife Club said that the cause of men infidelity is disobedient wife. Another shock....?
I had an interesting discussion with few friends over lunch about this issue. We thought that the club must be invented by men to bully women. But then the husband of my friend came and said this club was ridiculous.. he even said the word "obedient" was more suitable for pets, trained dogs, or circus animals.
I think whoever invented this club is a genius.
He/she is actually able to gather a lot of members to really believe that infidelity is caused by disobedient wife. But I can't say the same to the members though... I really feel sad that there are some crazy women who actually join the club, become members and really believe in it.
Why do women get the blames when men cheat? Or even worse... women get blamed for being raped..!!
I read somewhere that women get raped because the way they dress. They don't cover enough. Come on... you can go to Europe during summer and see women, young, old, slim, fat, pretty and ugly in swimming suits or bikinis. Do they get raped? Or go to Japan in summer where women wear light and minimal clothings. Do they get raped? In fact Japan has one of the lowest crime/rape rate in the world.
Here in Malaysia women dress pretty much covered, yet the rape rate is high and crime rate is rising like a meteor.
When my friend went for Umroh, she had a very shocking experience. She usually covered everything when she was there. But there was one time that she had to go to the toilet badly. The toilet in her room was occupied... Since the nature call was urgent, she just put on her scarf and went to the toilet at the hotel lobby. When she put on her scarf, her head was covered but not that tight. A small part of skin around her neck was "revealed". She then walked pass a group of men in the lobby. Then there was this guy who stared at her and was lusting for her "open neck". His eyes looked like he was ready to attack and rape her..!! He extended his hand to try to touch her skin..!! Can you imagine that...?? She ran for her life..., forgot all about the need to go to the toilet. Luckily nature was very kind to her, she didn't wet the floor...
When she told me the story she said, "Well, I am fat and old... the incident was horrible but honestly a bit of me was flattered. A man was actually aroused just by looking at my wrinkled skin."
I was like....?????? Helloooo.... if he was aroused by this dear friend of mine, I can't imagine how he'd behave if he saw me in my t-shirt and jeans, or worse... ask him to go to the beach in Nice during summer, i think he'll just pass out there and we'll have a nice laugh over ice cold Orangina.
A rapist will rape no matter what clothes his victim wears.
A man/woman will cheat when he/she wants to cheat, no matter that the partner does.
But of course, a relationship needs both sides to be faithful. It's so easy to blame infidelity to the other partner's action. So often I heard cheating partner said, I cheated because my partner is not understanding, my partner doesn't take care of me, my partner doesn't give me satisfaction, my partner is not pretty, etc etc. Maybe it's true... he/she cheats because he/she is not happy with his/her partner. Obviously the relationship is having some problems.
But is cheating really the answer? I think cheating adds to the problems. Instead of having 10 problems, cheating will multiply the existing problems by 10.
I am not a marriage councillor nor a wise wife... but I am waiting for another genius to form an "Obedient Husband Club." Anyone...??? Please keep me posted...