I listen to Mix FM every morning when I drive my daughters to school. For the past one week the topic was about finding the perfect wife or husband. Whether it exists and if it does, where to find this extinct species?
A woman wants to have a perfect husband who can provide her with a big house (or houses) that shelters many luxurious cars that her friends will envy. The perfect husband should also tell her how beautiful she is and how much he loves her everyday. Not to forget the occasional "surprise gifts" during her birthdays and anniversaries to show how romantic her husband is. She also wants to have perfect children who are beautiful, multi-talented, well behaved and treat her in a godly manner. A recital with philharmonic orchestra will be an added bonus to her life.
A man wants to have a perfect wife who never ages a day over 25 years old. His wife should have a miss-universe body with angelic face who cleans the house, feeds the children, sweats and cooks in the kitchen for hours yet still maintain the whole beautiful look and smiles when the husband arrives from work. She should also be as good as Monica Lewensky behind the closed door to make him satisfied. She is also expected to be a dutiful daughter-in-law to his mother and siblings while taking care of his cats.
Is there such a perfect woman or man?
When I was young, I did have a list of criteria on what kind of husband I wanted. Believe me, the list was longer than my grocery bills. I searched high and low to find the perfect man who could fit the list. Most of the men I met could not even pass the first 5 criteria on the list. My mother told me that I would never find a husband with that list so I should settle for less.
Did I settle for less? Almost... But NO.
I persevered and finally found the guy... I married him after meeting him for only 15 times. Yes, I know it was crazy but I was very certain that he was the one.
Is he perfect? No
But he is perfect for me. He passed beyond the first 10 in my list. He fits more than 90% of my list.
Is he a rich, super romantic and sophisticated guy? Definitely no by most people's standard.
When I met him, he didn't drive sophisticated European car. He didn't even have a house and still stayed with his parents. He didn't send me flowers or chocolates or romantic cards. He didn't take me to fancy restaurants on our dates. Instead, he took me to a warong with rusty zinc roof near Batu Cave to have Thai-style steamed fish (siakap, to be exact) on our fist date in Malaysia. It was a really hot day, eating really hot spicy food by the road side. We had teary eyes, runny nose and sweaty body.
Definitely not rich. Not romantic. Not sophisticated.
But he is perfect for me.
(My friends used to ask me : What do you see in him?)
He makes me laughs.
He creates thousands of butterflies in my stomach every time he touches me.
He makes me shiver.
He respects my privacy.
He gives me freedom.
He understands me.
He drives me nuts with his cool.
He awes me with his intelligent.
He amuses me with his knowledge.
He doesn't bore me.
He loves my family.
He loves his family.
He loves food.
He nurtures me.
He shares the same passions with me.
He listens when I talk (and he tells me when I talk too much..:)
He is (brutally) honest.
He is a law-abiding citizen.
He is a hard-working man.
He is humble.
He is a man of principle.
He is respectful towards my friends.
He is clean.
He doesn't wear flowery shirts with more than 10 colours.
He doesn't chew loudly when he eats.
He doesn't swear.
He doesn't gossip.
He doesn't shout when he talks (on the phone too).
He doesn't hurt people.
He doesn't judge.
He doesn't flirt with women.
He doesn't show off.
He doesn't pretend.
He doesn't have stinky breath.
He is not possessive.
He is not a fanatic of anything.
He is not demanding.
He is not complicated.
He is not amused by beauty without brain.
He is not afraid of cockroaches (It is very important because I am terrified of cockroaches. He can make my life less scary when there is a cockroach nearby).
Most importantly : He is a man of religion. He is afraid of Allah. He lives following guides from Allah and he guides me to be a better person.
In a way... He completes me (stealing the line from Jerry Maguire)
I am writing this out of my guilt for forgetting our anniversary this year (again... for the countless time). Last April, I only realized it was our anniversary when I was filling up a membership form for my friend. When I dated the form, I wrote 09/04/2014. The date made me thinking... hmmmm... I think there was something that I needed to do on the 9th of April. After a few minutes, it hit me. It was the 14th anniversary of my marriage to the man who has shared countless nasi lemak, nasi kandar, kari kepala ikan, nasi daun pisang, laksam, soto, assam laksa, steamed fish, botok-botok, nasi timbel, bakso, baso tahu, harkau, siomay, durian, pulasan, pie tee, char kuey teow, hummus, mandy, nachos, enchiladas, chimichangas, palak paneer, roganjosh, appam, pho, tomyam, somtam, miang kham, briyani, thosai, chapati and many many delicious things in life with me.
Although it's been months since I forgot about that date, the guilt feeling lingers as I had promised myself to never forget the important dates of our lives.
Fortunately, I never forget his birthday... (coz we have the same birthday... so one less date to remember)
For my readers who are still searching for the right guy or the right girl, don't give up and don't settle for less because you only have one life to live. The perfect man or woman does not exist BUT the perfect person for you does exist.
Thank you for reading and have a great week ahead.