I had a surgery to remove tumours in my ovary 3 weeks ago.
When my doctor told me that I needed to get a surgery, I only told my husband. Nobody else. A few days before the surgery, I had to tell my mother-in-law so that she could help me taking care of my daughters while I was hospitalized I didn't even think about telling anybody else until my husband asked me, "Did you tell your mother?"
I told him I didn't want to tell her coz I don't want her to be worried. But my husband insisted I had to tell her. So at the end, I told her and my sisters. My mom booked a flight ticket right away, came a day before surgery and stayed with me for one week. I was glad I told her. Just having her beside me making me felt better.
When I had bad news like this, my immediate response was not to tell anyone. It's a habit that I have been keeping for years.
I don't like people to know that I will be hospitalized. Why? Coz I don't like visitors when I am sick.
But I find it even stranger that some of my friends were quite offended when they found out that I was hospitalized and I didn't tell them. And I was like.... why..???
It's stressful enough to know that something is growing inside my ovary but it's another thing to have to call twenty over friends and relatives to tell them about this. Calling them means having to say the same things over and over again. Explaining how I discovered it, when the doctor would perform the surgery, which hospital I would do the surgery, how the surgery would be done, etc, etc....
At that time, I just wanted to get rid of those tumours from my body ASAP. I had no mood to talk, no mood to please anybody and certainly no mood to accept visitors.
But people just can't understand....
Let me explain why visitors are not welcomed when I am hospitalized :
1. After a surgery, the anesthetic effect would make me look like a zombie, feel like I had just guzzled one bottle of Tequila, and behave like a vain woman who just had her favourite handbag stolen.
2. During the recovery, I had to dress in a hospital gown with no zip, no button and wide opening at the back which exposed the viewers to a sore body of "mature woman".
3. Since I couldn't take a bath for the first 3 days after surgery, I sure was smell funny (funnily disgusting, I mean...). I don't want to expose visitors to hazardous body odour mixed with alcohol swab smell and hospital chlorine. Let the odour be my secret... nobody needs to know...
4. To add to that horrible sight and smell, I would lose all my dignity when I had to meet people with dirty oily hairs. I have to wash my hairs everyday. Failure to do so will result in my scalp producing oil that can pollute the whole head like BP petrol polluted the Mexican gulf.
5. Again.. the thought of having to say the same thing over and over again... How was the surgery, whether I was in pain (of course I was...!! what a question..!), how was the tumour (fine, of course, happy to get out from the fat woman body), when would I be discharge, etc.etc.etc.... I just didn't have the mood to do this.
6. I couldn't sneeze or cough coz it would be very painful. Some visitors might have some flu or cough and pass it to me. At that point, I didn't want any of those.. Sorry, no gift accepted.
7. Visitors usually feel "obligated" to come and visit, to avoid being labelled "not caring". I totally understand how busy life is in KL. Most people work from morning til 7pm. They have to beat the traffic jam, cook, spend time with the children. Going to hospital is not a fun thing to do.
8. I attract Multilevel Marketing (MML) people. Wherever I go, I had always been approached by them, from tens different companies, each believing their products are the best. During this time, despite of my body odour and horrific look, I became more attractive to them. They would come with all kinds of vitamins and supplements, trying to convince me that I would be healthy and rich if I become one of the members. I was in pain.... in a very bad mood ..... so when MML people come, visit and try to convert me, the words coming out from my mouth were definitely not the ones anybody wanted to hear. I don't want to offend anyone but I just can't handle this.
So, let us all spare all this nonsense...
By not visiting me : I m happy to keep my "horrible look and smell" a secret. My friends and relatives are also not burdened for having to brave the KL/PJ traffic jam, scheduling time to visit, finding parking spot to buy some fruits or flowers, getting stopped by the hospital security for bringing durian to the hospital (my favourite fruit is durian), etc., etc.
Now... Since I don't want to repeat the same questions again and again... I want to tell you how I discovered the tumour: I missed my period for two months. I thought I was pregnant... When the doctor checked... Nope, no baby in the tummy... just two cute tumours, happily growing 1 cm a week. Thank God the tumours were benign. I was hospitalized for 3 days in Assunta Hospital, PJ where the nurses and staffs were very helpful and friendly. Surgery was done by laparoscopy. Total recovery time : 3 weeks.
Last note to woman readers : Please have routine check ups of Pap Smear, USG, Blood Test, and Mammogram. If you experience something irregular, don't take it lightly... Just have a check with your gynea..