Thursday, 29 December 2011

What have I done?

We are ending 2011 and approaching 2012... I was stuck with this question in my head : What have I done in 2011?

The first answer came to my mind was : Nothing..!!

I felt I had done nothing important, just strolling my days and nights like zombie in automatic gear mode doing mundane housework. Instead of losing weight, I gained few kilos... Instead of regular exercise, I found every imaginable excuses to skip it.

But when I thought that I had abandoned my blog for more than a week, suddenly I realized that in 2011 I started blogging. Heyyy... I did do something different this year..! A warm feeling radiated in my heart... Then I started to think about things I started in 2011.

1. I started my part time job.... It's something I had never done before. It's not as easy as I thought. Working at home means a lot of distractions from my kids, my maid, my contractor, my blackberry messanger chats, facetime chat, TV, food, etc etc... I had difficulties in managing my time... making me doing my work past midnight when the house was quiet and nothing interesting on TV.

2. I drove and got lost in Selayang and Templer roundabout. For the past 11 years living in KL, I was scared of driving to unfamiliar areas alone, afraid of being lost. Now I "enjoy" being lost and found my way out to the right roads.

3. I overcame my fear of butterflies. Yes, I was scared of butterflies and all other flying insects. Now I have no goosebump and tingle in my ear anymore whenever a butterfly comes near me. But I still can't shake the nervous feeling when I see cockroaches yet... I will have to work on it.

4. I adapt slowly to a new habit or environment, too slow in fact. Shamefully I admit that while I have been embracing my "new" religion of Islam, I have been very slow in implementing its teachings. Fasting has been easy and I never skip it every year but praying in Islamic way has been very difficult for me. I had always needed my husband to guide me everytime I pray. I just couldn't remember the Arabic sentences that I have to recite during prayer. It really frustated me and I was so ashamed of it that I avoided solat jemaah (group prayer) and any religious gathering. Don't be misunderstood, I talk constantly to Allah swt everyday but in English mixed with bahasa Indonesia. I believe that Allah swt is a supreme being who understands all languages. In August 2011.... I could do my sembahyang (praying in Islamic way) by myself. It surprised me on how I could do it. It just happened.. I don't know how but suddenly I could remember and recite the prayers in Arabic. Come to think again, this is actually my biggest achievement in 2011.

5. I had a full two-week holiday alone, without my kids and my husband. This is the first time in my 11+ years of marriage being away from them for a long period of time. It was very refreshing... Felt so free... I felt young again like when I was single and carefree.. The break made me appreciate my husband more, for taking care and entertain the kids while I was away.

6. I went to Japan with my mom and my sisters. It was our first "girls only" holiday. Despite being stranded in Maihama shelter caused by earthquake and tsunami (we were there when the tsunami hit), it was a very meaningful experience for us. It is one of the best vacations in my life, doing nothing but chit chatting with my mom and sisters for a whole week.

7. Last but not least, I made a lot of friends thru this blog... From the bottom of my heart, I really thank you for reading my blog. It really means a lot to me... To have total strangers reading my rantings and grumblings.. And to have old friends getting to know me better thru my writings.

I wish you all a very Happy New Year... May our 2012 be filled with great beautiful happy moments...

Cheers...

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