Wednesday, 4 January 2012

No new year resolution for me.. Just wishes on the wishing well

I never really knew what a resolution was until I went to US and people asked me what my new year resolution was. Almost everyone I knew there made new year resolutions so I thought I also had to make one. But unfortunately I didn't achieve much. Many of the resolutions were undone thus repeated again on the following few years after that. Even after more than 20 years I still can't fulfill certain resolutions such as exercise regulary for at least 3x a week, stop my addiction to coffee, put on night cream on my face everyday, put on mask every week, etc etc.

I stopped making resolutions about 15 years ago because I was just too embarassed, upset and dissappointed that I didn't have the strength, courage, determination and ambition to achieve them. Besides, life was not as fun anymore... The very purpose of my life was so focused on achieving my resolutions, my targets and my goals that I didn't enjoy it anymore. I planned everything to the details and when the plan did not turn out as expected I would be moody, sad and depressed.

So, when I went for interview 6 years ago and asked,"What is your goal 5 years from now?" I was struck mute.. I couldn't answer at all. I didn't set any goal anymore, I was in zombie mode. At that time I was struggling between motherhood and work, never had enough time to cook, to take care of my daughters, to work, to keep the house in order while doing my best to make my employers happy. So my goal (or I should say my wish) was : I would like to have a balance life. I didn't want to juggle anymore (if I were to juggle, I should be a professional clown). I would like to ENJOY my life as a mother, a wife, a daughter, a sister, a friend, and an employee. But how could I say that goal during my interview? I also couldn't lie to the interviewer that I set my goal to be the General Manager in that company because honestly speaking, I didn't care at all. I went for the interview to get a job because I needed to work, just to keep my mind sharp, to get out from the house and meet people, to not feeling guilty for wasting my parents' money on my education, to get some pocket money for my cravings of steak and cheeses and to have an excuse to put on make up.

As expected, I failed the interview...

Fast forward to now... I just realized that I had reached my "silent" goal. I never really worked towards that goal. It just happened. The goal was achieved coincidently. I quit my full time job and started workimg part time. By working part time, I have ample time to cook and experiment new dishes for my family, I can go to parks with my daughters, I can have my piano class, I can meet my friends over lunches, I can have lunch dates with my husband, I can visit my mother and sisters more often... at the same time keeping my brain functioning and earning some pocket money to treat myself for a good rib-eye.

I guess it's true when people say "Be careful for what you wish for..... For your wish may come true."

My simple wish did come true effortlessly.... I am still sceptical about the theory from "The Secret" by Rhonda Byrne and I am not totally agreeable with Jack Cranfield. While I do agree that our lives are determined by our state of minds, I do not agree that if we want to achieve something, we just say it in our heart, put it in our mind everyday and it will come true without having to do anything about it. I do believe that if we want something we have to work hard for it.

However, when I looked back and saw my experiences, I have to admit that maybe their theories are true. I am still doubtful though... I will need more proofs...

So, I have to start to make a wish list... Let's see if they come true...

Do you have some personal experiences on this? Do you agree with Rhonda Byrne?

No comments:

Post a Comment